A CELEBRATION OF LIFE: A Ceremony for one approaching death

This ceremony was written for a dear friend who was approaching death from brain cancer.  She knew she would be dead in a matter of months and wanted to have some kind of gathering with people who were precious to her to say good bye, and to say and to hear, “I love you.”  She wanted to do this before the disease had eroded so much of her brain that she could not be fully present.  Knowing of my interest in ceremonies, she asked me to write something for the occasion.

Guests would be asked to bring a present that costs practically nothing, that everyone could enjoy, and that would last only a few hours – such as a few cookies or a few flowers.  When people are ill, gifts can easily become a responsibility that consumes their very limited energy.

Each guest would be asked to write something to be read --less than one page long, that will take less than two minutes to read.  The problem with asking people to say things spontaneously is that it is easy to lose track of the time and talk much too long.  Be respectful of the honoree’s limited energy.  Most of these statements will probably be memories of situations that were characteristically loving or playful – or perhaps sometimes poignant or sorrowful.  After they have been read, they will be given to the guest of honor.

After the guests have arrived, the person designated to lead the ceremony (preferably someone who will not cry) will gather everybody together in a large room. 

“The writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for every matter under heaven, . “ … a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to reap . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.”  And of course, there is a time to celebrate, for friends and loved ones to look back on a beautiful life well-lived, and to say, “We honor you, we love you.”

 Next might be a time for singing one or two verses each of a few songs chosen by the honoree. 

 Between the songs certain selections chosen by the honoree might be read.  These might be philosophy, spiritual texts, literary passages, poems and so forth.

 This would be a good time for people to help themselves to refreshments.

 Next would be a time for people to read their letters. The honoree would then read or have read for her) something she has written for the occasion. The leader would then ask everyone to gather around the honoree and place their hands lovingly on her head and shoulders. This would be followed by a prayer.

 “Loving God, these words we have spoken have been our prayers of appreciation, and we commit them lovingly to You and to her.  The touch of our hands is also our prayer, as we bestow on her our blessing and our love.  Take from each of us a measure of strength and health, and give it to her.

 “We are grateful for the gift of life, and for all the things that enrich our lives. Thank You especially for Jan, the ways she has touched our lives. Thank You for memories that will be part of our lives forever. Thank You that we are better persons for having known her. And now dismiss us with Your blessing, in the name of Christ, Amen.”