WHAT IS YOUR I. Q.?
After being married only a few months, the young bride was exceedingly unhappy. Frequently her husband criticized her – sometimes viciously – over the slightest thing that displeased him: the table was not set properly; there was a wrinkle in the clothes she had washed for him; she might inadvertently misplace something. His attacks were more and more angry, and more and more intimidating.
It was only after she had packed her bags to return to her father that the husband was willing to consult the wise elder at the temple.
The wise one greeted them with a courteous bow. “What is the purpose of your visit?”
The young woman described her unhappiness over her husband’s criticisms.
The husband replied respectfully. “O wise one, my wife is exaggerating. Besides, she knows I mean nothing by it. I am only blowing off steam.”
“I see,” said the wise one. He thought for aa few moments, and then asked, “Tell me, what is your I. Q.?”
“It is a hundred and forty, O wise one.”
“Then you are very intelligent,” the elder replied. “You are more intelligent than I am. But I do not understand an intelligent man damaging an important relationship over things that are trivial.”
The husband had no answer to this.
The wise elder then turned to the wife. “My dear, you must understand that there is a difference between intelligence and wisdom. Intelligence refers to one’s capacity for wisdom.
Wisdom has to do with the ways one actually lives.”
“Your husband is very young now, when his wisdom approaches his intelligence, he will understand that your love is a gift to him, rather than an obligation.”
“When his wisdom approaches his intelligence, he will understand the impact of his words and his actions.”
“When his wisdom approaches his intelligence, he will look quietly for solutions, rather than complain about problems.”
“Now go in peace. Do not speak for the remainder of the day, but meditate on these words.”
The young couple faithfully obeyed the wise one. They did not speak for the remainder of the day.
* * * *
Several months later, the husband once again spoke angrily to his wife.
No longer intimidated, she looked into his eyes with confidence. “Tell me, my husband, what is your I. Q.?”